For a good month and some days now I have been thinking about how to start this. I have decided to start by saying that I don't know what to say. I have no idea what this is about, and I have so many random thoughts flowing around that I'll try to get them down in an organized fashion. I'm a firm believer in organized messes. Speaking of messes, I have a really big problem with dirty, but I'm usually ok with messy. To an extent. This creates problems. I live downstairs with my brothers, and that's where they hang out usually. Really, I'm pretty easygoing, but when they get gross, I freak out.

Speaking of freaking out, today I was driving and someone almost merged into me on the highway. NOT a good feeling, especially when I'm playing music, and I get this realization that the last thing I could've ever heard was Common. That just sucks :(

Along the lines of suckage, my dad went to California for work today. He will be gone for a week, and I will be bored for a week. He is so cool, alhamdulillah. Especially for a FOB. I can honestly say he's my best friend. He is incredibly intelligent, and thinks ahead of his time. I learn lessons from everything he does, and I really trust his judgement. When I was sick, I used to make him drive to Maplewood all the way from his work in Eagan at lunch to come hang out with me, and he never said no. Parents are so amazing. I can say how amazing I think my dad is, but I can't put into words how I feel about my mom. I just pray that heaven is awarded to her before any hissab. She deserves it, mashallah.

Speaking of sick...subhanallah. If anyone is going to believe in the power of dua, and the mercy of Allah, it's me. Alhamdulillah a million times. If I could go through everything all over again, I would. It's an amazing experience that I am SO blessed to have gone through, no matter how hard it was at the time. Allah can bless us in the most unexpected and unbelievable ways. It really showed me that we have to trust Allah. This dunya sucks sometimes, and If you don't have faith, it sucks even more. We sit here and worry and think and plan and run around without stopping to think about Allah. We definitely should tie our camel, but we have to know that all khair is from him. Alhamdulillah.

I know a lot of people who have this problem. Girls, mostly. This innate need to worry until they get wrinkles or get sick. I think it's really sad. Don't get me wrong, I'm really OCD about things like being on time and making sure things run smoothly and thinking ahead, but I don't let it ruin my life. Does that make sense? I didn't think so. Sorry!
Summary: Worrying is so 8 months ago :) Allah's got your back! Inshallah.

Speaking of having backs, did I ever mention how much I despise when people talk smack (pardon the ebonics!) about other people? And when people talk about other peoples' business? Like when someone tells me a secret about someone else, it REALLY makes me think. If they are missing the thing that would make them stop from telling me this secret, how do I know that they won't tell people my secrets? I really think that if someone tells you something, it needs to stop with you, unless you have EXPLICIT permission to tell others. That's just basic courtesy, and most importantly, being Muslim! It's such a big part of our deen to be trustworthy people. And I give the basic disclaimer, I say this to myself first :) Wanna know what really bugs me? Oh man, this irks me SO bad. When you're sitting somewhere with some people, and the first thing people think to do at separation is talk about people that were there. Oh man, so obnoxious. It just sucks. I really want to tell people to shut up sometimes, but that would not serve any dawah purposes. What happened to 73 excuses?!

Subhanallah, look at this wisdom. Even after you have created 73 excuses (which you most likely will not), you should say Allahu A'lam. Think about this concept. I know it's hard to implement, but if we are constantly reminding ourselves that we have to do this, eventually we will improve (in some way or another) in our dealings with others.

Ok, I think I'm done now. Next time I'll be more organized inshallah. Hopefully I'll have a prompt, so I can focus.