I'm taking a break from homework to ramble. Enjoy the fruits of a restless mind.
One day, I will write a post about the things I enjoy, I promise. I enjoy a lot of things and I'm actually, contrary to popular belief, fairly pleasant. I'm also very comma happy.
I work with a lady. A very weird one. Her husband makes a gajillion dollars, she works part-time, and lives in a very fancy home. She drives a Benz and buys incredibly expensive designer purses whose price would make some people I know (including me) throw up several times. She is lavish and buys $50 a yard fabric and such. I'm not gonna hate, that's her prerogative. But here's what I don't understand: She's CHEAP! Can someone please explain this to me? I really didn't know until I grew up that rich people are pretty cheap. You would think that generosity would grow exponentially, not linearly, with increased income. Apparently not. Like how can someone who buys a $95 purse and thinks it's a deal fret over $3? This is a concept that I don't understand whatsoever, and it's making me nauseous thinking about it.
In America, for example, the most generous people, in terms of ratio of money donated to income, are the poor. Is this a faith issue? Is it because the numbers are so big? I don't know.
What I do know, however, is that I really hate cheapness and miserliness. It's ok to be careful with your money, but sometimes what you lose to save it is worth more than the money itself. And if it's not even a matter of being careful, and you are just counting every penny, I think you suck. And that is MY prerogative :)
Second Issue:
I really wish people would revisit the value of strength of character. I wish they would pick themselves up and move on. I absolutely love people with a fighting spirit. And not to say that strong people are rough and mean, because being strong and being merciful aren't contradictory. They can live together. My dad for example, is a sword of justice. Very heavy words, but I exaggerate not. He is the most morally upright person I know. He isn't afraid to speak his mind, and definitely not afraid to lay down some law. At the same time, he is the biggest softy on the face of the earth. He cries more than normal for a man his age, and never hesitates to admit when he's wrong-he says that's being a man. He also knows me better than any of my friends, or even my mom.
Looking back at last year, around this time, he did me the biggest favor anyone could do for me. He challenged me. It's around recovery time, and I'm just a mess. I can't move, can't talk, and can't eat. My muscles are completely debilitated from being in a rotating bed for 2 weeks, and I can't even lift my arms. So what does my dad do? He hands me tissues, makes me shake his hand, and doesn't let people do things for me. When I can finally eat, he doesn't let anyone help me. My food was pretty nasty and cold by the time I could finally get a system going, but he didn't care. I had to brush my teeth by myself, even if that meant using one arm to hold up the other. I know it was hard for him to do that, but he knows me and knows that's what I needed. Don't get me started on the walking!!
Sorry for the detour, but here's what I was talking about originally. People are weak these days and we are really so focused on the minor details that we forget the big things. We don't have the sense of responsibility and courage we should have.
I think I'm thinking about this because because I'm reading a lot of Social Justice books right now and I'm very annoyed with brattiness. Societally or interpersonally, I don't like it.
I will end on this note: I warned you in the pretext that this was going to be ramble. Second, I'm going to see my cousins this weekend and I'm really excited :) Eid Mubarak!
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6 comments:
Your dad should be proud--you made my Eid (really). JAKs. And I'm sorry a lot of people in this dunya, put simply, just suck. But what's nice is that some don't. I hope you find yourself with more of the latter, and none of the former in the aakhirah. I'A. Sslambs.
murmy!!!!!!
i'm <3ing this and you and everything
aw :)
um excuse' moi. but.
I have yet to be enlisted in your "blog list"
so yeah a little "pissed"
I dont know why Im talking like "this"
but Im rhyming so its all "legit"
endcase. add my name to your "clique"
salaami.
Ok, so i just read this post right now, like a year later. and I agree with you about everything. Cheap rish people are retarded. The more you have the more you should give back, it just makes sense. I don't believe in cheapness, even if it ends up retarding me (which it has, ask Citicard.) Also, on a petty and nbratty note, why would a 95 dollar purse make you throw up several times? My dad in 1985 was in Japan, and he wanted to buy my mom a purse so he went to see this cool one and it $34,000. In 1985. That's something to make you throw up 3 times I think.
Also, I agree about the strength of character and I'm so proud of what you did to recover, it's really inspiring. I don't think people have any character at all any more. Or not no one, but most people are weaklings and morons. It's a fact of life when the hardest thing we have to do on a daily basis is figure out how to text in our votes to American Idol. Everyone wants an easy ride, myself included. And most people don't get it. It takes people like you dad, or mine, who like drilled me last night about hard work, to get our butts into gear, and in the end of the day we end up as better versions of ourselves, inshaa Allah. And I think that we are especially lucky to have someone like that in our lives. Someone who actually cares. I don't think that many people have that. Maybe that's what's wrong with people now. Too many don't have someone who cares.
ayaaaah, shukran jazeelan for your deep interest in my ramblings :)
a $34,000 purse is not something that makes someone puke, that's something that would make me cry. it's not even just unnecessary and so haram, it's like disturbing. especially because you know someone bought it. 34k is a freakin down payment on a house for a family. check this out:
Almost two in three people lacking access to clean water survive on less than $2 a day, with one in three living on less than $1 a day.
then
Some 1.1 billion people in developing countries have inadequate access to water, and 2.6 billion lack basic sanitation.
(thats from the 2006 UN Human development report).
so, let's do some math!
this means that 1.1 billion people in the world live on an average of $1.67 a day. so what someone bought to use pretty rarely, i'm sure, could've sustained (at their level, not a livable level), about 56 people for one whole year. A YEAR, almost 56 people. holy crap.
i honestly don't feel like it's a crime to live according to your income level, as long as one gives back. i just personally do not believe that it's necessary to change any habits. comfort will definitely change, but i hope the only thing that would come from it is increased thankfulness and productivity. money comes and goes, and i think it's a waste blessings to let your heart and mind be attached to it. and allahu a3lam what kind of rizq a person is destined to have, but it's really important to not get detached from the real world and constantly be aware of disparity and poverty.
that's really long-winded, sorry. too bad though, i have more to say :) on the flip-side of this, i don't think one should be stingy either. and this has nothing to do with being rich or poor. a poor person can be generous in their own way. but back to stinginess. let's call it miserliness though, because it's a closer meaning to bukhul. that's a messed up quality that can make the best of people into the worst.
so i think you know what i'm getting at. and although it's sort of two extremes, one against being crazy with money and one against being a lame-o, i'm sure you understand that this isn't black and white, but that it needs to be measured with wisdom and conscience. you get it. i'm sure you do.
onto the caring people. i read a quote the other day that said something like "treat people as they are, and they will never change. treat people how you think they should be..." and the rest was about how they will turn into that. no memory on that one. i have a really cynical side that i learned (still learning) to squash. i think that experience changed my whole life, and i've learned a lot about perseverance, not giving up, and faith. there's nothing i wanted more when i was in the hospital than to just go sit in the living room with my parents. inshallah no one ever experiences these reminders in such a manner, but if it weren't for my family and friends, that month and 2 weeks could've really broken my spirit. alhamdulillah :)
WOW this is long. love you ayah. and whoever else is reading. haha.
Oh I had to make a disclaimer that my dad never bought the purse. I dunno how clear that was. Mariam messaged me like "YOUR DAD DIDN'T BUY THAT DID HE?!" hahaha.
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